I did the craziest thing this week.
I bought a desk.
Now, I know that probably doesn’t sound so crazy. People buy desks every day, right? Did I need a new desk? No, probably not. The one I have now is perfectly functional and was given to me by a family member who no longer wanted it. I had just bought a house and had a shortage of furniture, so any old desk would do until I could get around to purchasing one that would fit my idea of what I really wanted. I was grateful just to have a space that I could call an office and a desk to set my computer on so that I could write. Flash forward two years – and I still have the same desk. My office has somewhat fallen to the back burner while taking care of other higher priority remodels in the house.
But all that is about to change, and just because I purchased this desk.
Simple, right? It may not look like much, but this desk is about to become a powerful symbol.
I love to write. Fiction, nonfiction – it doesn’t matter. There’s just no better feeling than sitting at a good desk and pouring words onto a page. For me, writing has always been a dynamic tool that I can use to fight depression. Whether what I’m writing is actually “good” or not, who knows, but I do know that it helps me. And lately, I feel like I need more of it.
I work full time, and I’m in grad school. Free time is not something I have in abundance. I’ve noticed lately that I’m sinking into the habit of doing nothing productive with any free time that I get. Depression has snagged its claws into me, and it has become abundantly clear that I’m going to have to fight to make changes in my life to let more happiness in.
So, this starts with a desk.
And not just a desk, but with writing more frequently and doing more of something I’ve never believed in myself enough to really think I could do… find a way to financially support myself through my writing. I’ve started taking some freelance writing jobs, and I’ve set myself a goal that I will pay off the desk that I purchased using only income gained from writing. Beyond that, I’m carving out more time to spend writing creatively, to focus on an idea and run with it to fruition, because finishing any of the books I’ve tried to write needs to become a priority. My ultimate goal? Well, to be able to write full time would be a dream come true.
And then there’s this – this blog.
I’ve written blogs before. I’ve done book review blogs, craft tutorial blogs… but never just one that was really ME. My version of life and the things that make it go up and down. So, I wanted a blog. And in this blog, I wanted to challenge myself to do more in my life. I’m going to do more of what makes me happy, do more of the things depression has told me I’m not capable of doing, and I’m going to chronicle my journey towards turning my passion into a career.
One thing I do have are great cheerleaders in my life, and I’m grateful for the support I get from family and friends when everything starts to weigh on me. While talking with my best friend, Stacy, about how I’d lost my mind, bought a desk, and was currently reevaluating my life goals, she simply said to me – “You are seriously so good at making things happen that I have no doubt you will figure out something awesome. Like for real. That’s not just a pep talk.”
So, here’s to making things happen, seeing where it takes me, and (hopefully) staying sane along the way. I hope you’ll follow along on this adventure. 🙂